My lodger Brandon comes out of the shower and immediately gets a bunch of mud all over the couch after his soccer match. Looks like he needs a quick lesson on exactly how to clean himself properly, and I’m on hand to do it.

I take him to the shower, busily scrubbing him down until I notice his urges take control of him. I’m excited, too. Before long, we’re doing the naughtiest of things, and I’m wondering just how we got here.

Don’t stop now, Brandon!