Susie begins today's show with a look into a bizarre spectacle: the subplot surrounding Miss USA and Miss California. This story has gay secrets, missing breast implants, biblical quotations, and topless Internet pictures. The recent Miss California finalist, Carrie Prejean, seems to be leading a double life. Susie talks about the whole beauty pageant industry and subculture as she tries to make sense of why people still care about such an outdated showcase. Isn't this pageant more brothel-like - with Donald Trump as the pimp?

Next, Susie delves into funerals and sex. How can anyone be thinking lusty thoughts at such a solemn time? Contrary to popular thought, a lot of us get horny in the presence of coffins, apparently. Susie reads from an e-magazine called Obit that says, "funereal sex may be death's best antidote".

Then, in the "Try This at Home" mailbag, Susie gets a letter from a listener who believes his OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) is getting in the way of having good sex. He asks for help to restore the intimacy in his marriage.

Have a question? You can call Susie's hotline at 831-480-5110. You can also send your confidential questions - plus requests for free samples and blog banners! - to susie@susiebright.com. (Episode 389, May 22, 2009)

Explicit Language Warning: You must be 18 years or older to purchase this program.