My lodger Peter was on the path to become a Catholic priest, but before he does, there’s one thing he wants to try. Sex! He’s never done it before and wants to know what it’s like. I decide that there’s only one person who can take him on his first-time journey, and that’s me!

He puts on his robe, and we sneak into the church to do something sinful. Listen as he takes me at the altar and fills me with his love. I hope God forgives us!