If you can count on one thing from "Madea" Mabel Simmons, star of the smash hits Diary of a Mad Black Woman and Madea's Family Reunion, it's that she's got something to say. For as long as people can remember, Madea has been in the neighborhood - she's the beloved, hilarious, sharp-witted, pistol-packing grandmother who's watching out and speaking her mind.

Now Madea is telling her own story, dishing her memoirs and hard-won, hilarious wisdom in her own inimitable voice (with a little help from her friend Tyler Perry). Madea covers every topic you want to hear her on, from the art of flirting, to love and marriage (sometimes two very separate topics), and raising kids (including the full story on the bag o' belts).

She also opines on beauty tips (featuring her indispensable advice on the miraculous benefits of Vasoline), the healthy choice of a deep-fried diet, and the Bible (including her favorite Bible story, as you have definitely never heard it before) - and pretty much everything else.

Madea has lived quite a life, and she has some stories to tell. And they're all here. As she's fond of saying, "Sometimes life is hard, and you have to laugh your way through it."