HUMOROUS AND SATIRICAL SUSPENSE AND MYSTERY STORIES

"Think Peter Sellers as Inspector Clouseau with Don Knotts and Tim Conway from the Apple Dumpling Gang mixing with John Travolta as Vincent Vega along with a gang of murderous otters and that’s just a portion of what you’ll find."

asinine [as·i·nine] adjective
1: extremely or utterly foolish or silly
2: of, relating to, or resembling an ass

Synonyms: absurd, balmy, brainless, bubbleheaded, cockeyed, crackpot, crazy, cuckoo, daffy, daft, dippy, dotty, fatuous, feather-headed, fool, foolish, half-baked, half-witted, harebrained, inept, insane, jerky, kooky, loony, lunatic, lunkheaded, mad, nonsensical, nutty, preposterous, sappy, screwball, senseless, silly, simpleminded, stupid, tomfool, unwise, wacky, weak-minded, witless

CRIME FICTION WITH A DIFFERENCE

Each of the 24 stories in the Asinine Assassins anthology involves a character (e.g., assassin, contract killer, hitman) with the above synonyms in mind. Asinine Assassins is an anthology of stories about inept, brainless, ridiculous hired guns, assassins, and murderers. Be ready for plenty of humor, action, suspense, and mystery. Black humor. Bizarre incidents, Surreal situations. Some stories are gritty, some grisly, but all are entertaining.

The first two books in the 'Assassins' anthology series, Uncommon Assassins and Insidious Assassins were well-received and reviewed. Most readers enjoyed the diversity of genres and styles in these books, and Asinine Assassins continued that diversity with the new anthology. This time, however, the stories focused on incompetent and lunatic characters—with a dash of dark humor flavoring the suspense. This is NOT your typical crime fiction. If you love a wonderful blend of mystery, suspense, noir, humor, and general weirdness, expect to be surprised and entertained!

THE STORIES

Rip Ho, Jaspers -- Ricky Sprague

Dumbass -- F.J. Talley

There's One for You, Nineteen for Me -- Carson Buckingham

Upchuck Chuck -- Bruce Harris

Dirty Pool -- Chris Bauer

Mr. Benedict's Wild Ride -- Robin Hill-Page Glanden

Payback: With Interest -- Matt Hilton

Shooting Fish -- James Dorr

Jug Handles -- Albert Tucher

Short-Order Crook -- J. Gregory Smith

Blood in the Urine -- Martin Zeigler

Just Call Wally -- Wil A. Emerson

Aiding and Abetting -- Adrian Ludens

Lizards and Other Varmints -- Shari Held

Killer Fashion -- Maddi Davidson

Angling -- Ben Gamblin

Small Claws, Small Guns -- Jezzy Wolfe

The Butcher -- Robert Petyo

The Adventure of the Asinine Assassin -- Rick Hudson

The Last Hit -- Eldon Litchfield

Killings 4 Sale -- Blair Keetch

The Third Date Rule -- Jeff Markowitz

One Good Thing -- Kevin P. Thornton

Deerman -- Weldon Burge